Canyon Rush is the first episode of the Angry Birds TV Show.


None for now.


School, morning.

Pig Teacher: Class, Ms. Kilvington was fired...

Blue Jay: YAHOO!

Pig Teacher: Anyway, my name is Proffesor Pig. For short, call be Proff. Anyways, I am a nice teacher, but-

Blue Jay: You give us free candy?

Professor Pig: Uh, no.

Blue Jim: Free money?

Professor Pig: Of course not.

Blue Jake: Free homework?

Blue Jay throws book at Blue Jake.

Blue Jay: Idiot!

Professor Pig: Precisely it! My good man, I give a lot of homework so we can learn and strive.

Small Pig: You sound like my mom!

Professor Pig throws pig out the window.

Scene changes to grassy plains where blues are complaining to Matilda.

Blue Jay: I have so much homework!

Blue Jake: I have too much video games!

Blue Jim: I have too much of well, nothing.

Bubbles: I have me candy, me precious, precious, CANDY!

Blue Jim: What's wrong with him?

Blue Jay: He's probably ADHD or something.

Matilda: Kids, we're going on vacation!

Blue Jay: Cruise?

Matilda: Nope.

Blue Jake: Universal Studios?

Matilda: Nope.

Bubbles (nervous): Candy?

Matilda (evil grin): Nope.

Blue Jim: I have a bad feeling about this...

Scene 2 in plane.


Bomb: Hey, when I was a kid I always wanted to go to Epcot.

Blue Jim: Really?

Bomb: No, not at all. It's owned by Disney for crying out loud!

Red: You should be glad we go on vacation! By the way, who's flying this thing?

Speaker: Welcome to Pigineering Flights. We ask you to be calm and enjoy the flight, so happily live the last few minutes of your life.

Stella: What?

Speaker: 99 percent of the time, we crash, so don't even worry about dying.

Hal: Nobody said dying!

Bomb: Actually, you should've read it in the phamplet.

Hal: Oh, and satisfactory lawsuits if we make it out alive!

Plane falls down into a canyon.


Crashes, and a outside voice is heard: Unfortunately, the birds suffered damage from the crash and died. 


outside voice: Pardon me, got to go to make an annoying advertisement.

Hal: Now we're stuck here for the rest of eternity!

King Pig (unknown so far): I believe I can help.

Chuck: Ahhh, a crerpy weirdo!

King Pig: No you idiot, i'm King Pig. That's chef pig, other minion pigs, uhhhh...

Minion Pig: My name's Bob!

King Pig: Shut up #427! 

Throws stick.

Stella: Whatta you want?

King Pig: What? Oh, right. You must help me escape!

Hal: Or else what?


Everyone gasps.

King Pig: Just kidding. But seriously, help me cuz you probably won't get out without helping me.

Chuck: Okay, fine.

Red: Where do we get all our stuff?

King Pig: The wreckage from the plane, duh.

Hal: Yeah, things are kinda turning up!

Wrecked plane explodes.

Bomb: Never mind. 

King Pig: We must travel furthur into the canyon! Minions! Pick me up.

Some Minion Pig: Aww!

King Pig: Shut up, and carry me!

The birds and pigs walk to the edge of the canyon.

Blue Jay: Finally, I can see some parts from other planes that probably crashed here.

Blue Jake: Right, right. Anyway, come on. Looks like we need a useless montage of building the plane.

Does stupid montage.

Matilda: We finally built this one seat plane!

Bomb: Wait a second, one seat?

King Pig, flying away in plane: SO LONG, SUCKERS!

Plane crashes within 3 seconds, King Pig falls back into the canyon.

King Pig: Uhhhhhhhhhh.....

Bob: Don't worry, me and the other pigs built a super plane that can hold all of us! Except one person.

Hal: What? That's just like every stinkin Hollywood movie!

Chuck: When you think about it, it's more like when Disney tries to act cool.

King Pig: Ah, a sacrifice! Uh, we probably don't need you, or you, or... why is everyone staring at me?

Bomb: So long, sucker!

King Pig: Don't leave me!

King Pig sits in the canyon and starts crying.

Dedicated to RedBird25, Image Unit on the Angry Birds Wiki.

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